a late night view of life

thorsten4 @ 2006-11-06T17:19:00

2006-11-06T22:19:23Z

Back again. It's been awhile since i've been able to gather myself and get back to writting in this journal. I'm back in Vienna, which I suppose is a good or a bad thing depending how you look at it. In other news I have joined a waterpolo team, and am slowly getting back into tiptop shape. It's a interesting and extreamly aggresive sport, where everything that happens under the water is fair game. I haven't gotten injured yet, only a couple of minor bruises and scratches. That's all for now, perhaps when my life stops flat-lining, and something bigger jumps i'll write more.

thorsten4 @ 2006-08-30T03:34:00

2006-08-30T08:37:48Z

Currently located in Vienna. I hope that I can find myself a proper job or at least convince my parents that grad school is a viable option. Otherwise the past month has been fun, last week my bro and I drove to Germany to visit the family, and we stopped over in Munich for a couple of beers with Tina and her sister. The drive was a bitch, but I survived without getting a speeding ticket, I hope. Not sure yet. Anyways I'm still clueless on what I want to do with myself. I need to make a decision ASAP.

thorsten4 @ 2006-07-28T19:39:00

2006-07-29T00:43:56Z

Off to vienna I go, gotta take a break from the US. it's going to be so nice to get back to europe. see you later st.louis. I might be back, don't wait up.

thorsten4 @ 2006-07-13T21:07:00

2006-07-14T02:26:27Z

Passion. Desire. Want. Need. Drive. Collapse. The little things that make sense. and the whole that does not. clarity from the evening shadows. confidence and shame. regrets and ambition. care and neglect. the string of words that make and illuminate the wonders of that is yet to be discovered. The past, present and future does not exist, rather is one fluid stream of consciousness. When the silence of the mind screams and the heavens collapses, the world stands still. Random or predictable? Poetry or rambling? We seek fulfillment. perhaps that's the wonder of philosophy: to dissect humanity. To create is to honor, to destroy is to conquer. When reason meets emotion, it's essence distilled and confused by Vodka and Scotch. Find the meaning it all. Find the map. A treasure hunt without a prize. Simple words.

thorsten4 @ 2006-07-04T23:45:00

2006-07-05T04:52:29Z

Very upset. Damn Italians! Na ja they did better then I thought they would, but still I thought they might be able to go all the way.

In other news, I might be selling teddy-bears soon. I interviewed with Build-A-Bear Workshop for an International Mechandizing/ Marketing position. It went really well, so I expect to get a call back next week! and have full time employment soon there after.

Now I just need to get myself a new ride.

thorsten4 @ 2006-06-22T22:46:00

2006-06-23T03:58:38Z

Another week just flew by. The days are just screaming by. now I understand why people go to work at 6 am or earlier, the day is just too short. By the time you get home in the evening, you barely have enough time to eat dinner, write a couple of emails, read a bit and then it's off to bed. I wanted to sleep in today and take half the day off, but I woke up at 7 am for no reason, so I went to work instead. One would think that with only a week left in my contract that I wouldn't have much work to do, but its the opposite I have more work then ever before.

I heard an intersting quote from a friend today: "Women who love you are consistant"

I sit here in an internet cafe, wired on coffee not wanting to go back to my apartment because it's 97 degrees and I refuse to turn on the airconditioning.

thorsten4 @ 2006-06-09T13:27:00

2006-06-09T18:30:00Z

Stuck in the midwest without a car is like being stranded in the Sahara without water. I wish my car would have survived another 2 months, but that's that. I wish my cash flow would allow for a new mode of transportation.

Dog Days of Summer

2006-05-29T21:07:35Z

The hunt for employment continues. I have 1 month before my contract runs out, and then i'm going to be desperate. I need to find a way to get some interviews, anyone out there got any leads for a Bachelors of Arts in International Business? Well back to writing cover letters.

Dog Days of Summer

2006-05-29T21:07:10Z

The hunt for employement continues. I have 1 month before my contract runs out, and then i'm going to be desprete. I need to find a way to get some interviews, anyone out there got any leads for a Bachelors of Arts in International Business? Well back to writting cover letters.

thorsten4 @ 2006-05-01T01:14:00

2006-05-01T06:41:23Z

Another night. the sublime comes alive and things start to make sense or not. It's all in the head. sleep comes easy. the troubled mind wanders the fields of the subconscious. the corners and the crevasses that are hidden from sight. the ramblings of an old man. the self induced coma of the young. innocence and decadence. coffee and cigarettes. wishes, prayers and life. heart. respect. ambulance.

thorsten4 @ 2006-04-18T18:21:00

2006-04-18T23:26:50Z

Ok, so I put up with way too much shit. why? I have no clue. But enough is enough, I have better things I can spend my time on. It's a matter of respect, I can put up with alot of shit, but evenutally too much is too much. I have to put my foot down, cause I ain't going to be nobody's toy. that's it.

thorsten4 @ 2006-04-16T22:05:00

2006-04-17T03:07:23Z

stick a fork in me i'm done. fin. out. gone. fertig. sick. pissed. gone. aus. basta. nadda.

thorsten4 @ 2006-03-19T20:32:00

2006-03-20T03:02:05Z

It was nice to get away for St. Paddy's day. Also great to drink too much beer and Whiskey Car Bombs with an old friend. Thank god we didn't drive back from the party, cause none of us had the capacity to walk straight.

thorsten4 @ 2006-03-02T23:16:00

2006-03-03T05:16:29Z

The Mixed Messenger
Deliberate Brutal Love Dreamer (DBLDm)

Just...take...the...fucking...flower...darling. The Mixed Messenger apologizes again.

You're looking for love, but you'll always maintain your independence. You're prepared for a real commitment, but it's also likely that you're ambitious, which creates a certain romantic tension and ambivalence within you. So although you can be very affectionate to someone, you are also capable of pulling some dubious shit. In a relationship, you're usually the emotional leader. With your friends, you're a little bit more part of the pack. You're well-liked but you're not the uninhibited type, so the spotlight's often on someone else. In both social and romantic situations, however, you almost always get what you want. Influencing people is something you do very well.

ALWAYS AVOID: The Playstation, The Peach

CONSIDER: The Priss

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: TzeroT

thorsten4 @ 2006-02-14T13:47:00

2006-02-14T19:52:03Z

Just when everything was going great, life smacks you around. This morning at 8 am, this crazy lady crashed her big ass SUV into my car as I was turning left at an intersection. She was obviously at fault, but for some crazy reason the police officer issued me a bogus citation, and not her. Looks like I'll putting this semesters law class to some good use at my court apperance.
oh yeah Happy Valentines day.

a troubled mind

2006-02-08T11:53:56Z

Only after 4 hours of sleep, I woke, unable to return to the dream world. I think I will go swim in the pool work off this invisible stress that troubles my mind. I wish I could figure it out. Perhaps it is the realization that I will graduate in 90 days

thorsten4 @ 2006-02-03T23:52:00

2006-02-04T05:53:29Z

Sleep. I look forward to sunday, the day of rest. the one day of the week when I truely can sleep in past 8 am. well at least I filled out my petition to graduate. Soon this will be all over! Blah... still waiting on that damn paycheck. G'night

Back in STL

2006-01-18T05:14:10Z

Happy and sad to be back. I miss Vienna alot, but things are going great here. I opened a savings account to place the money earned from my internship, the guy at the bank asked me when I planned to buy a house. I almost laughed as he went on with the entire pitch about mortgage rates. In other news, my new flatmate is awesome, he bought furniture for me and everything, but now I feel guilty as hell, and i'm looking for ways to pay him back. I suppose i'll just clean the place more often, or buy picture frames for all the posters. well gotta wake early tomorrow. Night

thorsten4 @ 2006-01-01T14:09:00

2006-01-01T13:10:08Z

Happy New years to all!

thorsten4 @ 2005-12-30T19:08:00

2005-12-30T18:15:54Z

Being back in Vienna has be excited and relaxing. Things have become even more chilled out then ever before, there are less people u know, thus less people to see, but those you do see you cherish for all they are worth. I met up with Kimmie for our yearly lunch/coffee experiance, which is nice cause you can sum up pretty much everything that's new, before you run out of things to say. naturally we mainly discussed ins and outs relationships, after all talking about university is well yeah not that interesting to talk about, and it never changes.

well time to eat a home cooked meal and prep for the long night of drinking good beer.

Happy New Years

thorsten4 @ 2005-12-18T14:12:00

2005-12-18T13:20:31Z

I just realized how exhausting the last 2 weeks have been. After sleeping on the plane, 5 hours straight, with no dreams, I just shut my eyes, and when opened them again they were serving breakfast, and we were an hour from Vienna. Arriving home at 9 am, a blessing in its self, I went out and did my christmas shopping. Then in the evening I went to my old watering hole the "monk" to meet my friends for a drink. Nothing changes, and thank god for that. We only stayed for 3 hours, as everyone wanted to go home at midnight, we're all getting old. None the less I got home half and hour after midnight, and promptly went to bed. I fell asleep with my reading light glowing in my face, my door open and didn't wake until about 10 minutes ago. I suppose it was just nice too sleep in ones old bed again. but damn, I haven't slept this long in ages.... 14 hours. I think i'll go sleep a little bit more.

thorsten4 @ 2005-12-13T20:39:00

2005-12-14T02:47:57Z

Wired beyond belief. Had a few too many triple espresso this morning. The effects are still apparent now, 12 hours later. Been drinking water trying to calm myself, studying for this exam is beginning to suck. For the first time in my life I am on the verge of achieving a perfect semester, that is if I get a 98 on this exam, which is almost impossible, but never say never that's what I say. Anyways who cares what Marx said, or what relevence it has to modern financial system. Who cares if millions of people are starving because if we gave them free food of which there is plenty, the agriculture market would collapse. Who cares if the Oil companies are raping Nigeria and thousands of other developing countries. BOYA! that's all I have to say. booyah...

thorsten4 @ 2005-12-07T23:47:00

2005-12-08T06:08:15Z

10 days to go(before I fly to Vienna), and i'm not that crazy about it. Its kinda scary, I feel like I am living in a bubble, with everything bouncing off of me. Nothing ever sticks. Sure I look forward to seeing my friends, especially some that I haven't seen in a long time. But right now I am utterly alone, watching "lost in translation" on my bed, drinking beer, trying to avoid my smelly roommate. I keep on watching this movie time and time again, and I don't know why.

The Stacks.. dum dum dum....

2005-11-21T16:42:37Z

Never get lost in the basement stacks of a library, that is unless you want to have kinky sex down there, but alas that was not the case, rather I was buried under piles of Congressional Quarterly reports and other governmental documents. They have these shelves of books that move and close off the walkways, perfect for any horror film. Instead of spending time in church or playing video games, I was diving for documents. I suppose some people are committed enough to Political Science that they would engage in such a process for a day, but after 3 hours experiencing no sunlight or contact with anyone of the human race, I emerged in desperation for social interaction. Next time I go down there, it's for kinky sex and nothing else, or that's what I tell myself until I have to write my next paper on something so archaic or mind-numbing that they have to hide it away from sane people.

here is part (2)

2005-11-16T00:02:04Z

ok while the past weekend was fine. We arrived back in Saint Louis in the early evening, plenty of time to do a few things before going out. I was supposed to go out with a few buddies..... NEW FLASH: JUST GOT FIRST JOB OFFER!!!....I literally got the phone call as I was writting this blog! I will be an employee of Brown Smith and Wallace starting this january!... ok screw my blog, which was about to complain about pointless emotional encounters of third kind, I have nothing to complain about... time for celebration.... drinks are on me... well that is who ever is in the Saint Louis Area. *jumping up and down*.... yippi...